Living In a House Full of Women

Seems like whenever I tell someone that I have five sisters, some look at me with amazement, some with well lack of a better word, pity and well some just find it hard to believe I’m straight!

          Add to that our grandmother lived with us and our dad was gone a lot trying to keep food on the table as a truckdriver, so that ran the total up to seven females and me. Wellsir that kinda made me literally, the de-facto man of the house and that was no easy chore. 

          Most of this will deal with Mom, Grandma, and my three sisters in line after me. I could write volumes about how I was traumatized by being the only male, but it would be a flat out lie. I had it very good growing up. A lot was expected of me but a lot was given to me also. I was expected to look after my sisters and to serve as security for them while on the bus and at school. I’m not sure why, for mom had raised us to fairly independent and to be able to take care of ourselves. Mainly it was to serve as a buffer between my sister right after me and every boy in school that had his eye on her. I had been doing that since a very early age and had doled out several lessons on what happens when you put your hands on one of my sisters.

          But, in spite of all of the bumps bruises and occasionally walking into an unlocked bathroom, I sure did learn a lot from those women and girls. I learned from listening late at night my sisters’ friends talking about boys what they liked and didn’t like and who they liked. Nothing like knowing the lay of the land when out hunting. From my mom, I learned responsibility and respect for women. I learned they weren’t the weaker sex after all. I also learned from my mother how to dance, throw a baseball, how to ride a bicycle and sit a horse. From my Grandma Adele, I learned manners, and how a gentleman should speak and act. Grandma was big on manners and etiquette. A man removes his hat when in the presence of a lady and when coming inside. She installed what I like to call the “Fifteen Second Rule” which boils down to I had about 15 seconds to remove my hat or get slapped out from under it. Grandma was big on tough love, but you never could find anyone who would say a word against her. To this day, I can’t bring myself to wear a hat or cap in the house. Jane has hung hooks by the door, in our bedroom and in my den so I will always have a place to hang my hat.

          I have also been desensitized when it comes to feminine hygiene products. I can walk into any store and buy anything a woman might need without batting an eye. How many you fellers can say that? I have been given an inside look at how the female mind works from a multi-generational viewpoint and have learned one thing, it didn’t help a bit.Like the rest of the men on this planet, I’m still a lost gosling when it comes to fathoming the female mind.

           

Intolerant Tolerance

I thought the Democrats were the sensitive caring huggy- feely party that accepted all kinds of folks into their tent? I guess it’s true, for along with about every nut job with a gripe, they have racists, bigots, extremists, Marxists and I guess about everything on the left side of the political spectrum.

I have always thought of free speech as a given, but to some on the left, you’re only free to speak if you mouth their platitudes and march in lock-step with them.

Here are just a few examples:

·        The right to choose: This is only a right if you choose abortion. I thought being Pro Choice you meant you had a right to choose. Wrong, it means you need to abort a baby rather keeping it or putting it up for adoption.

·        Free Speech: Seems like Liberals can say anything they please, but let a Conservative say something they don’t like, such as the truth or the facts, they tend to become very agitated and resort to lines such as “Bush Lied” and “Halliburton caused 9-11”.

·        They say we must be tolerant of Islam, yet wage an unending war against Christianity and Judaism.

·        They call the TEA Party Racists, despite the fact one of the founders is Black and Herman Cain is running as a strong contender for President. And , as a closing thought on this subject, Robert Byrd.

·        They march for women’s rights here, yet are strangely quiet about the savage abuses heaped upon women in the Arab States.

·        Everyone has a right to work; as long as you belong to a union.

·        Try finding work in Hollywood or as a journalist if you are open about your Conservatism.

These are just a few examples of a group of people that have espoused tolerance and understanding yet by their very actions, have shown themselves to some of the most intolerant people you will ever meet. Actions will always speak louder  than  words.

Questing For the Perfect Burger...

  Howdy! I think I'd like to let y'all in on something about  me; I happen to think the Cheeseburger is nature's perfect meal. It has, meat, veggies, dairy, and bread all in one easy to handle package. Toss some fries or rings on the side and I'm one happy camper.
   Now when I say cheeseburger, I don't mean one from fast food joints or chains; I mean the good old-fashioned, cooked on a flat-top,  drippy, bun toasted masterpeice that you have to hunch over to eat where you have to change napkins after every bite!
 I have been having a "food-mance" with burgers since a young kid and have eaten them around most of the country and in other parts of the world. I've had them made with various types of meat ranging from water buffalo to ostrich and have come to the conclusion that beef works best, preferably an 80/20 blend which is your basic ground chuck.
  Other criteria include and this is just my opinion mind you, are: mustard, lettuce,  red onion, pickles and tomato.  Cheese should be yellow. Some will say ketchup on it, but I prefer to have ketchup on plate for an occasional sop or two. Note: you hand me a burger with mayo or Thousand Island  Dressin and I'll hand it back.  Some folks like to get all fancy and "Metro" with their creations, but to me if you need to dress it up a lot..... you must be trying to hide something. I admit to likin green chiles on one from time to time and won't turn down a slice or two of bacon and even some chili(no beans)on it from time to time. I' ve tried some of those boutique burgers with all the fancy uptown trimmin's and well, they just kinda lose me.
 OK, now that y'all know what I look for and well, have been questin' for, I'm gonna let you in on some of the best of the best, I've found so far. So here goes..... and these are more chronological than rank.....

Granny Carter's: Granny used a cast iron skillet and had a sear on the patty that was unbelievable. Nice thick patties that would literally shoot juice into mouth with each bite. Fresh tomatoes, greasy buns, and she'd even toast top of bun with meat grease!  Heaven in a meal! I asked her over and over to show me how she did it but she said men kill meat, women cook meat.

Sam's "Stuckey-burger": Sam wrote the book on makin' burgers. He had a small joint bout mid-way between the High School and Jr High back in Bowie and bout lunch time you could smell them from both places. Sam used the juice from patty to toast the bun. Wow what flavor it gave the burger. He also like to run  his spatula over the top bun to give it a little sheen and added flavor. he used basic seasonings but some how, magic occured when he cooked them.

Hamburger Ed: Ed has a little burger an burrito joint up in Pampa he opened in an abandoned gas station. Do not laugh, the best burgers will come from places like his. What makes Ed's so good apart from the ambience is the blend of seasonings. It will send your salivary glands into overdrive. Add to the fact I don't think he has ever bricked his griddle which sees a lot of action and you have wandered into a place that time seems to have forgotten but I bet you won't ever forget Ed and his burgers.

The Dixie Pig: When Jane and I moved to Abilene, it opened a whole new search area for me while our kitchen was gutted during our remodel. We had eaten there from time to time while visiting, but it bacame our substitute kitchen and when I got around to ordering a burger from there, I wanted to kick myself for not doing it sooner. They serve a classic cafe burger with all the trimmin's and cooked to perfection. Add the cheap price and you have a real gem there. Nice size patty and well proportioned veggies; and the atmoshphere is great.

Gloria's: We just tried this place last week and I still drool just thinking about it. Has to be one of the best burgers I've ever eaten. The small is a half pounder and to eat it you almost have to be able to unhinge  your jaw. The hunch is definitely is in play here. The patty is hand worked and the bun is toasted to perfection with just the right sheen on the top bun to make it greasy enough to make lips shine. You almost need a fresh napkin after each bite. You might even wanna wrap napkins round round wrists to save cuffs, it's so juicy.

Okay, one final note here. I said I wouldn't rate or pick any chains, but I'm going to bend that rule a little. In/Out Burgers are killer. They serve a simple burger and it is awesome.  I've eaten at several of them while travelling and will tell you, it's worth the wait. One of the reasons I'm bending the rule is they serve burgers, period! You want a salad, scrape off your burger!

 Well, there you have my thoughts and picks. I'm always on the lookout for a great burger so if y'all have any suggestions, I'm ready to listen and try; for as we all know, a quest  must never end.....

 

Date Night and Cary Grant

Last night was the capper on a great day Jane and I like to call a "Hooky Day". With our conflicting work schedules, we have to plan to have a day off together, so we've come to call them hooky days. Y'all remember playing hooky, don't you? Skipping school or a class once in a while for some reason?
Last night was the topper to a great hooky day. We went out on a date. I tried to make it as real a date as possible by slipping out on a pretext and came back home with flowers. Then I rang the doorbell so I could "pick her up". A dozen roses and a quiet supper together before heading off to the Paramount to see the perfect date movie: North By Northwest with Cary Grant.
Ah, Cary, he was the master of the suave and urbane. His sense of timing and humor are unmatched and when it came to classy, he was in a leaugue of his own. His manners are impeccable and even after doing battle with a crop duster, he still looked like he was ready for cocktails and dinner.
I think we men could take a lesson or two from him. Sometimes we tend to take the women in our lives for granted, forgetting how special they are in our lives and all the little things they do for us to make our male lives tolerable. Face it, we are not the best at taking care of ourselves. Not the big things, but the little things such as picking up the laundry, doing the Christmas cards, picking out the right colors for painting the house and in general, makin the house a home.
So over the years, I've tried to take a few lessons from Cary. I like to bring flowers once in a while for no other reason that to show her I care and she's important to me. When we go out, I try to look as well groomed as possible and make her feel as special as she is to me. I have a long way to go, but I like to think I'm getting there.

Talkin' to a Plumber Don't Make You One

  Howdy y'all. Thought I might share this and see if any of y'all suffer from this syndrome. It occurs most frequently in men but women have been known to be afflicted from time to time.
It can cause normal men to think they are Bob the Builder or Marty the Mechanic.  I would like to blame this on TV with all the How-To Shows but I truly believe that it is inherent in us. We watch someone do something and something clicks as we think, "that don't look so hard,piece of cake"! Then after much labor and expense, we finally have some semblance of what we wanted. Do we learn from this? Oh no, we puff our chest and assume the Alpha postion and say, "See, I told you I could do it!"
 That being said, I'm gonna relate some experiences of this life long affliction that seems to have no sign of remission. Please don't laugh too loudly or condemn me for I know we've all been there.
 Signs of this affliction started at a very early age. I remember when, as a young Boy Scout, seeing plans for a Monkey Bridge and thought,I can do it; it's done by Scouts. So, I commenced to building one with the help of one of my sisters. It took most of the day and looked nothing like the one in the book, but in my eyes it was perfect. Down side,  I nearly hit sister with hammer[I was cheating by that time trying to get it to stay up] and had pulled the clothes line pole loose in the ground[Hey I thought it would make a good anchor point].
  I think my first serious attack came about age 15. I was driving a 54 Ford at the time and the water pump went out. Dad said he would help change out after he got home. I had watched him fix and work on engines as long as I could remember, so of course I thought, "I can do this". Well sir, I filled the radiator with water and drove to town, got a water pump and filled back up with water and drove back. Six hours later, I had the radiator out and had snapped two bolts inside the block.  Took Dad a while to get it fixed,but he did. He said I tried and that was what counted, but the look in his eyes said something completely different.
  Fast forwarding to present day, I'll skip over various project ranging from assemblin' furniture to installing laminate flooring throughout the house and get right to my latest effort. We had been having trouble with the kitchen faucet and we figgered a water line was pluggin up. Jane had been suffering with this for quite a while and we were sorta resigned to waiting till we could get a new line laid. Well, as fate would have it, a plumber came into store to have his rifle bore sighted. I was working on it and asked him bout it. He said it sounded to him like the mixer in the faucet might be obstructed and would work if I backflushed it. Never done this before, but it sounded easy so my next day off I tore into it. Did I mention the fact I waited till 3pm on a Sunday to do this? Or that we were in middle of cooking a meal for a friend's parents? As Jane watched on and offering to help with a look of resigned dread on her face, I fearlessly tore into it.Wellsir, I flushed the lines like I'd been doing it forever, and backflushed the faucet then hooked 'er back up and turned it on. Nothing, not a drop. what had been a reduced flow was now completely plugged.
   So, now here we are, dirty dishes and only place to wash them is in the bathroom. We get cooking done, Jane washes dishes  in the bathroom sink and was really cool about it for the most part. We run the food out  to our friend's parents, then stop by Lowe's to get a new faucet, which I installed and finally got right after a couple tries. Because of the thickness of countertops, I had to  invert the nuts  to have enough threads to tighten hoses I discovered this after turning water on. But I have to admit, it worked and the smile on Jane's face at having a functioning faucet was worth it all.
  Well, there you have it.. my testimony and in closing I just have this to say..

Hi, my name is Ed and I'm a "fixaholic"